Lost.

Where am I? what am i doing? To be perfectly honest with you, i have no idea. Im currently at my new home in vancouver, as of a month of living here, i have yet to call it "home." Home should be a place of sanctuary, where you can feel safe and secure, where everything is familiar, but right now everything is still in the process, nothing really is finished. Our furniture isnt even in yet, and if you yell you can hear your own echo, the floor is competely naked, you HAVE to wear slippers. I can barely fall sound asleep in my OWN bed, can you believe that? Before in New Westminster, once my head hit the pillow, i would fall soundly asleep (Okay fine, i snore but engough to disturb anyone ..i hope) or is there something else i havent factor in?

But, i know for a fact that's not the only thing thats been bothering me. I have a question .. am i predictable? did i become the person i worst feared? have i become .. boring? Dear God. I thought my personality would take me far and set me aside from people. but i was dead wrong, i have become the predictable Jonathan Hipolito.

What the hell as been bothering me, i can barely look at myself in the mirror without thinking "where did you go wrong?" am i that much of a disappointment? I dont know about you but, when i look into my own eyes, i see the dull colourless eyes, with no life and joy. I want to be able to find myself, I need to .. I have to.

Time. Theres not enough of it, I need more of it, and i want it to pass much much slower, so when the time do comes i am able to savour every second of you in my arms, i need you, and thats that. You are my light house, you help me stay on the right path your shall forver be my light, you are like the foundation of a building for me, you keep me stable and in the right space of mind, You are the support beams and collumns, you keep me together in faith and in morals, im not strong emotionally because you like to play with it =P but its okay i love you for it, when something crumbles, its BOUND to create its own base and support itself haha. I really hope you feel the same for me, if not, you'll come around, im sure of it.

Ineedaspark.